Sunday, January 10, 2010

[overheard]

The other night I was putting Jacob to bed with the usual routine.  I don't recall exactly what we had been talking about or what the circumstance was, but what I do remember is what he said to me. 
    "I 'cared, Mommy."  I stopped.  Silence.  Thought. 
    "You're scared, Jacob?"  "Uh-huh."  More thought. 
    "What are you scared of?"  Silence. 
Evidently he didn't know how to express what he was scared of, because, as quickly as it had begun, the moment was over.  His attention moved to something else in the room - the lamp, a book, something. 
Every day it is amazing to me what he says, both because he has physically formed the words with his mouth, but also because it gives me a glimpse into the workings of his mind.  I am having trouble remembering that he is only two years old, because he seems so much more grown-up than a "mere" two-year-old could be.  But along with this growth comes his venturing into new situations, new emotions.  It breaks my heart to know that - already - he is learning that the world he lives in is not always safe, that sometimes there is reason to be scared.  Hopefully he understands it only at a shallow level right now.  And I hope he understands the protective love his Daddy and I have for him.  I pray we can help him understand God's protective love for him, too, especially since God has the ultimate power to do so.  Even more so than the fact that his parents are here for him, I want God's fatherly love to be a comfort to him.
These are the moments you never expect, in being a parent.

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